000-017   000-080   000-089   000-104   000-105   000-106   070-461   100-101   100-105  , 100-105  , 101   101-400   102-400   1V0-601   1Y0-201   1Z0-051   1Z0-060   1Z0-061   1Z0-144   1z0-434   1Z0-803   1Z0-804   1z0-808   200-101   200-120   200-125  , 200-125  , 200-310   200-355   210-060   210-065   210-260   220-801   220-802   220-901   220-902   2V0-620   2V0-621   2V0-621D   300-070   300-075   300-101   300-115   300-135   3002   300-206   300-208   300-209   300-320   350-001   350-018   350-029   350-030   350-050   350-060   350-080   352-001   400-051   400-101   400-201   500-260   640-692   640-911   640-916   642-732   642-999   700-501   70-177   70-178   70-243   70-246   70-270   70-346   70-347   70-410   70-411   70-412   70-413   70-417   70-461   70-462   70-463   70-480   70-483   70-486   70-487   70-488   70-532   70-533   70-534   70-980   74-678   810-403   9A0-385   9L0-012   9L0-066   ADM-201   AWS-SYSOPS   C_TFIN52_66   c2010-652   c2010-657   CAP   CAS-002   CCA-500   CISM   CISSP   CRISC   EX200   EX300   HP0-S42   ICBB   ICGB   ITILFND   JK0-022   JN0-102   JN0-360   LX0-103   LX0-104   M70-101   MB2-704   MB2-707   MB5-705   MB6-703   N10-006   NS0-157   NSE4   OG0-091   OG0-093   PEGACPBA71V1   PMP   PR000041   SSCP   SY0-401   VCP550   000-080   1Z0-051   300-208   350-029   102-400   1z0-434   220-801   70-347   1Z0-804   210-260   640-911   300-135   NSE4   EX200   070-461   70-534   700-501   9L0-012   MB6-703   400-101   70-480   M70-101   SY0-401   PMP   1Z0-061   9A0-385   642-732   000-017   9L0-066   JN0-102   1Z0-061   70-411   1V0-601   300-206   400-051   MB2-707   640-692   101   70-346   CISSP   HP0-S42   PR000041   PMP   300-075   200-125  , 300-135   CCA-500   2V0-620   CISM   OG0-093  

Handling Kid Conflict with Tact – Greater Pensacola Parents

Handling Kid Conflict with Tact

Drama! It’s often unavoidable, especially between siblings and more than one child. When you start adding in play dates for your kids, conflict will definitely erupt at some point.

Children cannot get along all the time. They cannot just play happily, quietly in the sandbox together. Sooner or later, someone is throwing sand in another one’s eye or wanting to use the same pail and shovel while one kid won’t share.

Are you sitting on edge, worrying over those disagreeing moments? I used to be that way but now I don’t fret as much anymore. This is a part of life.  Now my attitude is that arguments are a great teaching tool, for both parents and kids. Here are a few ways you can delay, redirect or diffuse conflict.

Delay a reaction We have a natural reaction to jump in and settle a disagreement among kids who are arguing. Good parents want to be stewards and offer a solution right away.  If you are dealing with toddlers or younger age children, this may still be the best option. But if you have children at the preschool age and above, let it play out for awhile. Do not intervene so quickly. Listen and watch from a safe distance. Often kids figure out how to work it out for themselves. Even if they don’t, young boys and girls deserve a chance to communicate feelings of frustration and disappointment. This is how they learn, grow and adapt. If different ages are together, an older kid may surprise you by taking up for a younger child or vice versa. During play dates at other’s houses, I notice my daughters get along and take up for each other a lot better than how they behave at home.

Redirect emotions If the delay did not work and children still need parent intervention, then now is the time to remove the child or children from the situation.  Enforce the time out method or find a place where meltdowns can continue more privately, if possible. My children become embarrassed when they are upset. I find that they calm down more quickly if they are alone in their rooms or a private area where they can let loose. Sometimes we parents cannot do much except wait for our kids’ emotions to wear down or change. The film “Inside Out” is a great example of how children have feelings that often seem irrational to us but perfectly normal to them. Children will go from joy to anger to sadness with fear and disgust mixed in between. Acknowledge your kid’s feelings and help them move back to a state of normalcy or contentment. After I recognize my girls, I try to be silly and make them laugh if the confrontation wasn’t too serious. I may dance or put on music. Whatever I can do to distract the kids for awhile and help them return to fun, I will try it.

Diffuse the incident After everyone is composed again, I spend time talking rationally to my kids or their play mates. I let each individual know that feeling distressed, not sharing and disagreeing is common. I also discuss with them how despite those thoughts, they have to find ways to move past the emotions, get along and be respectful. My kids need hugs to have that closure and let them know I’m not mad and they can go back to playing. I’m quick to point out how moods affect others and how saying the right words can make a positive difference.  I ask my children to be more thoughtful and to behave better next time. Sometimes they can achieve this. Other times, we are back at square one repeating our same discussion. I remind my daughters to be grateful for the good moments in each day instead of focusing on what did not go right. If other kids are the problem, I don’t shy away from talking to their parents about the children’s actions or behaviors. I will say something like, “Tina had a few rough minutes during the play date and I’ll explain what happened and how I handled it.”  I want the child’s guardian to know that although we had some setbacks, we faced them and corrected them right away. I tell anyone who watches my children to treat them like their own and be firm with them if they act inappropriately. I want to hear when my kids misbehave so I can address any concerns.

Resolve Kids cannot learn how to deal with conflict unless it happens. The same goes for parents teaching their children. Some arguments, outbursts and whining are normal and a way for families to experience conflict resolution skills. Try these methods of delaying a reaction, redirection and diffusion to bring back fun times.

 Mandy B. Fernandez is a writer living in Pensacola, Florida with her husband and two children.  She has a B.A. in English with a minor in Technical Writing. She writes on topics such as business, education, creative arts, health, family life, parenting and natural foods.  In addition she loves sharing humorous stories, poetry and essays about womanhood and motherhood.  Her first children’s book, Kazoo Makes The Team, was just released. Visit her at www.writtenbymandy.com.

Mandy B Fernandez

Mandy B. Fernandez is a writer living in Pensacola, Florida with her husband and two children. She writes creatively and professionally on topics such as family life, parenting, natural foods, education, and business. In addition she loves sharing humorous stories, poetry and essays about womanhood and motherhood. She is completing her first children’s book. Learn more about her at www.writtenbymandy.com.

Leave a Reply