000-017   000-080   000-089   000-104   000-105   000-106   070-461   100-101   100-105  , 100-105  , 101   101-400   102-400   1V0-601   1Y0-201   1Z0-051   1Z0-060   1Z0-061   1Z0-144   1z0-434   1Z0-803   1Z0-804   1z0-808   200-101   200-120   200-125  , 200-125  , 200-310   200-355   210-060   210-065   210-260   220-801   220-802   220-901   220-902   2V0-620   2V0-621   2V0-621D   300-070   300-075   300-101   300-115   300-135   3002   300-206   300-208   300-209   300-320   350-001   350-018   350-029   350-030   350-050   350-060   350-080   352-001   400-051   400-101   400-201   500-260   640-692   640-911   640-916   642-732   642-999   700-501   70-177   70-178   70-243   70-246   70-270   70-346   70-347   70-410   70-411   70-412   70-413   70-417   70-461   70-462   70-463   70-480   70-483   70-486   70-487   70-488   70-532   70-533   70-534   70-980   74-678   810-403   9A0-385   9L0-012   9L0-066   ADM-201   AWS-SYSOPS   C_TFIN52_66   c2010-652   c2010-657   CAP   CAS-002   CCA-500   CISM   CISSP   CRISC   EX200   EX300   HP0-S42   ICBB   ICGB   ITILFND   JK0-022   JN0-102   JN0-360   LX0-103   LX0-104   M70-101   MB2-704   MB2-707   MB5-705   MB6-703   N10-006   NS0-157   NSE4   OG0-091   OG0-093   PEGACPBA71V1   PMP   PR000041   SSCP   SY0-401   VCP550   000-080   1Z0-051   300-208   350-029   102-400   1z0-434   220-801   70-347   1Z0-804   210-260   640-911   300-135   NSE4   EX200   070-461   70-534   700-501   9L0-012   MB6-703   400-101   70-480   M70-101   SY0-401   PMP   1Z0-061   9A0-385   642-732   000-017   9L0-066   JN0-102   1Z0-061   70-411   1V0-601   300-206   400-051   MB2-707   640-692   101   70-346   CISSP   HP0-S42   PR000041   PMP   300-075   200-125  , 300-135   CCA-500   2V0-620   CISM   OG0-093  

Do You Have an Unhealthy Parenting Style? – Greater Pensacola Parents

Do You Have an Unhealthy Parenting Style?

Some of the sources that inform today’s parenting do not come immediately to mind when one thinks of raising children. Take Karl Marx (1818 – 1883), for example. Along with his buddy Friedrich Engels, Marx articulated the fundamental principles of communism. He proposed that capitalism was an economic and social system that exploited and oppressed labor and kept the “masses” in a perpetual state of subjugation and misery.

Marx was the unspoken godfather of the late-1960s/early-1970s psychological parenting revolution. The revolutionaries—mental health professionals, mostly—proposed that traditional parenting oppresses the “natural” (aka “inner”) child. This myth gave rise to a relationship-based, feeling-based, self-esteem-based parenting, and child-rearing in America has been on the skids ever since.

Today, the typical American parent practices—and, to be fair, unwittingly—what I call Egalitarian Parenting (aka Postmodern Psychological Parenting). The parents in question lack confidence in the legitimacy of their authority and behave, therefore, as if the parent-child relationship is constituted of equals. The general result is children who are flush with esteem for their “bad” selves but deficient in respect for their elders. Fifty years ago, such children were called, among other things, insufferable.

Because Egalitarian Parenting Syndrome is a form of co-dependency, its practitioners are usually clueless. Therefore, I have devised the following short questionnaire to help them self-identify (or not). The directions are simple: Answer each statement with either Mostly True, Somewhat True, or Not True. Then assign yourself ten points for every Mostly True and five points for every Somewhat True.

  1. When I talk to my child, I try to get down to his/her level (or did when he/she was smaller).
  2. I generally end instructions with “Okay?”
  3. My child sleeps with me/us.
  4. When my child throws a fit over a decision I’ve made, I often feel that his/her reaction means that I may have made the wrong decision.
  5. I always want to be pleasing to my child.
  6. If my child agrees to do a household chore, I usually pay him/her for doing so (because adults get paid for doing work).
  7. I give my child lots of choices, like where he wants to sit when our family goes to a restaurant, what he would like for supper, and where he wants the family to go on vacation.
  8. I generally explain to my child the reasons behind my decisions and instructions.
  9. I allow my child to call adults by their first names.
  10. I often get into arguments with my child.

If you score 60 or above, you are suffering from Egalitarian Parenting Syndrome. The good news is, you can recover. Here’s a great first step in that direction: The next time you need some parenting advice, ask your grandmother or some other person over age 65.

John Rosemond

Family psychologist John Rosemond is America’s most widely-read parenting expert. Learn more about John at www.rosemond.com

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